


Hold Me Closer

by Lucifers_Trash_Stash



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Negan being nice for once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-14 20:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10543766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucifers_Trash_Stash/pseuds/Lucifers_Trash_Stash
Summary: After a long and stressful day, Negan finds you in the middle of a breakdown and offers you a shoulder to cry on.





	

It had been a long day, a long week, and a long year. You’d lost your family and friends, more people than you could count on all your fingers and toes. Every time you turned around that number only seemed to become larger.

You always tried your best to keep your emotions under wraps because you believed that there were others who had it worse than you. How could you go to them with your problems when it seemed like they needed you more? People looked to you for stability and you needed to be that rock for them. Who could they turn to, if not you?

Far too often these anxieties swelled up in your chest from swallowing them back for so long. When you couldn’t bear it any longer, you disappeared from the cushy parlor that you and the rest of Negan’s wives shared and hid in the unused part of Sanctuary. There you could cry to your heart’s content without calling attention to yourself. It was foolproof, or so you thought.

Today, you were curled up on a dingy sofa with a blanket draped over your shoulders. Your face was pressed against your knees as silent sobs rolled out in waves. You purposefully thought of sad things just to get the tears out of your system. If you cried yourself out now, you’d be able to last a few more weeks at best.

You lifted your head up so you could blot your tears with the tissue clamped in your fist. As you brought the tissue down you nearly jumped at the sight of Negan towering above you, his eyebrow raised as he looked over you with a solemn look on his face. His leather jacket was open and you could see the white shirt taut against his frame. With a man as large as he was you never would have imagined he’d have ninja level stealth skills.

“Holy fuck sweetheart, are you crying?” he asked as he tilted his head to the side.

“I’m not crying! You’re crying!” you retorted. You turned your head to the side and refused to look him in the eye. This was your private space and he violated it by just coming in and asserting himself like he usually did.

Negan sighed and ran his hand through his hair before sitting down beside you. “You know, it’s okay if you were. I’m not so much of an asshole to deny you that fucking right.”

Out of the corner of your eye you looked at Negan, his expression sincere enough. He was using his inside voice for once, after all. He must be serious.

“Darling, did someone make you upset?” His fingers curled around your knee as he leaned in closer to you. “Do I have to fuck someone up? Because I swear I’ll wreck their shit so hard that-”

“It’s no one,” you said. Negan frowned, sliding up closer to you and staring into your eyes, as if he was trying to tell if you were lying. His chocolate brown eyes probed yours as his fingers curled tighter around your thigh. His tongue brushed his upper lip before he leaned back and gave you your personal space again.

“Then why the fuck are you crying, baby doll? After all this time together I thought you were incapable of that shit.”

"Yes, because I’m the only human on planet Earth that doesn’t cry. Great observation,“ you said. Negan grunted in disapproval. You sighed before saying, "I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be taking this out on you… But it’s just all too much.”

His free hand found yours, fingers intertwined together. His thumb brushed softly against your fingers as he urged you to continue. After a few moments of collecting your thoughts, you started again. “I’ve lost everyone, Negan. Even if there’s family still alive I can’t contact them. The friends I’ve made who got me to this point are all long gone, and I worry everyday about the Saviors who might not come back home from scavenging.”

The words were spilling out now, like a raging river bursting free from its levee. “Not to mention how people might see me here. I’m getting special privileges just because I’m sleeping with the boss. I’ve barely worked a day here and I’m leeching off of the hard work of others. To them, I’m no different from the other spoiled wives who sit on their asses and complain about superficial bullshit all day. And who knows if they even like me either, the only thing we have in common is the same husband!

"Not only that, but I’m scared every single day that you’ll come back to me as a corpse. That’s how everyone leaves me.” Your voice cracks as the tears spill out again.

Before you could say any more, Negan pulled you onto his lap. His long arms held you close to him, your face finding the crook of his neck as heavy sobs wrack your body. You feel his large hands rub your back as he whispers comforting words into your ear. His chin has found a place on the top of your head, where you can feel the prickle of his stubble even through your hair.

The two of you sat holding each other, and nothing, not even the possibility of someone wandering by at any moment could have separated you. Not once did he try to pull away or shift his position. He let you sob all over his prized jacket, and wouldn’t have given a single fuck if you wanted to blow your nose with it either. The only thing he cared about in that moment was you.

Your arms were wrapped around his waist with your forehead pressed against his collarbone. His natural, earthy musk coupled with the lingering tinge of his favorite whiskey was comforting. You relaxed in his arms, letting the scent wash over you. It reminded you a lot of the woods you played in as a child and the youthful innocence of children who didn’t imagine in the slightest that the world could suddenly end in an instant.

After you regained most of your composure you raised your head to look at Negan. You were welcomed with a warm smile that you wished he would show more often. He placed his hands on either side of your head and wiped the tears off your cheeks. Leaning down, he pressed his lips against your forehead before placing his own forehead against yours. The two of you kept eye contact as he spoke again.

“Got it all out of the system, doll?” he asked.

You nodded. “For now.”

He laughed softly as his fingers found his way to your hair, twisting around your locks as he gently kneaded the base of your neck. “Well, you know where I am whenever you need me. I don’t want you down in the dark here when I could be lending a fucking set of arms here.

“As for the wives,” he continued. “They seem to like you just fine. If I see otherwise, I’ll set them fucking straight, okay? And fuck what anyone says. I don’t care whether they think you’re an intergalactic alien or some shit, what you think of yourself is the only fucking thing that matters. Don’t even listen to what anyone says, or even fucking thinks about you.”

“So I should take what you’re saying with a grain of salt then?” You giggled as he pressed a hand to his heart and feigned an appalled expression.

“I’m fucking hurt, doll!” he drawled. The dimples that appeared on his cheeks betrayed his offended tone. “To think I would even imagine you as any less than perfect!” After the laughter you shared died down, he hummed in approval as he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I worry about you too,” he said. “Every minute I’m not with you I imagine all the fucking things that could go wrong. I’m not sure what I’d do if anything happened. No matter what I think I’d be a fucking wreck without you, doll.”

You sat up straighter and ran a hand over his chest, your fingers brushing against the tuft of chest hair that peeked over his white undershirt. “All that for me?”

“Only for you, baby doll.” He squeezed your thigh in reassurance. You leaned up against him, his heart beat like the rumble of thunder in your ears.

“Now, why don’t we make our way back up to my office? I’ve got some chocolate stashed away for occasions like this. I think you fucking need it,” Negan said.

“Only if you share some of the good whiskey you keep stashed away.”

Negan threw his head back and laughed. “That’s my fucking girl. I wouldn’t expect any fucking less from you.” With that, he helped you up and the two of you made your way back to the office.

Just like flipping a switch, he was back to his boisterous old self. Even so, he had let you hear things that no one else would ever be able to imagine of their fearless leader. He was your rock, just as you were a rock for everyone else. It wouldn’t matter if you never let another person see you at your lowest because Negan would be there. He would do anything for you, even move the stars if he could. And that was more than enough.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're interested in seeing more of my work and other fun stuff, check out my Tumblr @lucifers-trash-stash :)


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